Bittersweet Life
by Ukaisha
Summary: A brief exchange between two men who were once lovers, who haven't seen each other in years, one of whom is married. One says the other should move on, and the other essentially agrees to a different tune. Maybe some things are worth waiting for. Takouji.


Disclaimer: The author takes absolutely no stake or claim on any characters mentioned.

A/N: Takouji Superdrabble, 1000 words. The story is mostly dialogue, and mostly up for your interpretation. Take it as you will.  


* * *

Bittersweet Life

"Hello, Takuya."  
I hadn't heard that voice for so long, maybe twenty years, and I couldn't believe I was hearing it now, at all times.  
"What are you doing here?" I asked before even looking at him.  
"Just dropping by."  
"At just this very moment?"  
"Coincidence."  
"Daddy!" My son was calling and waving at me. "Watch me swing!" he'd just learned how to do it all by himself; he was still proud.  
I smiled weakly and waved back. He jumped on a swing and started pumping.

"Do you really just want to forget…?"  
"Go away."  
"We can still be friends, you know. We don't have to just go apart and never even look at each other again." Ah. So he'd noticed.  
"We can't be friends after what happened. You know it's unwise for you to be here."  
"Yep, you still make me act stupid."

Kouji tried to sit on the bench next to me, and I blocked his path.  
"What part of 'leave me alone' do you not get?"  
"The part where I'm not allowed to talk to you anymore. Or look at you. Or think about you."  
I stiffened. "Kouji, you _better_ not be thinking of me like that. I'm married."  
"I'm aware."  
"That was almost twenty years ago. Let it go, man."  
"Takuya…" Something jolted through me. It was like a little shock. I shivered a little. It was like a sudden flash back to that night, the only night we'd had, where he'd called me by name in a very similar manner… "Do you really not love me anymore?"  
"No, I don't."  
"Or did you pretend to fall out of love with me when you accidentally got that _woman_ pregnant?" I didn't particularly like how he sneered when he mentioned my wife, but I didn't feel like I should kick his ass for it. Honestly, I didn't care much for her either. "Then again, it turned out she was lying, naturally…"  
"What could I do?" I said between gritted teeth. "I thought I'd kicked you away for good. I thought I'd destroyed our relationship over that woman; you wouldn't talk to me for months. I thought I'd lost you and that I had to _move on_. But YOU, oh YOU, you just had to suddenly decide you wanted me again, to ruin my life like I had yours. You couldn't have just done the easy thing and tried to forget my face…"  
"I've always loved you, Takuya."  
"I don't anymore."

He paused. "I still don't get why I can't even talk to you." I could feel him staring at me, and I just carefully watched my son; he'd already started trying to jump off the swing in mid-air, and I was looking to put a stop to that immediately. "Unless you're afraid…" My eyes finally betrayed me and looked up at him. He looked much older than thirty-six; it was probably the sadness carving wrinkles in his face and his eyes that barely spoke of any life. "…that you'll think of me that way again, too."  
"Keep dreaming. No, scratch that; _stop_ dreaming. I got on with life; just learn that it goes on."  
"But are you really happy?"  
No. I wasn't.  
That was the real answer, the truth that I was keeping hidden from him.  
But that was all he wanted me to say. If he could just weasel me into saying that, he'd have me. I'd screw up. I had to pretend he didn't exist; that I didn't acknowledge my feelings for him.  
I had my son to think of, after all.  
"Yes, I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

He just sighed. I think he was about to say something else, but he was interrupted.  
"Daddy?" We both looked down. My four year old son was looking up at me with wide eyes. "Who's this man? Is he a stranger?" He puffed out his cheeks. "You're not supposed to talk to strangers, Daddy. Shame on you!"  
I chuckled. "You're absolutely right, buddy. I think…" I looked back to Kouji again. I think he knew that it was futile, but he couldn't stop himself from trying anyway. "…this strange man was just about to leave. Right?"  
"…Yeah, I was." I had to look away from his eyes again. My heart was pounding. "So this is goodbye, huh?"  
"For another twenty years, probably."  
"By then, he'll be grown…" My son had no idea what he was talking about. He looked a little confused. "…And then you'll have nothing holding you down. I can wait."  
"You know nothing will change, Kouji. Just move on."  
"Everything changes, Takuya. I can wait until your little mistake is rectified." He smiled at my son. "Be a good boy for your Daddy, okay?"  
Takou was a good judge of character, I think. He already knew what I was avoiding to remember: Kouji loved me. He smiled right back up at the strange man and nodded. "Yes sir!"

Kouji, the man I had once loved, walked away. My son, who I had unconsciously named for him, took my hand.  
"I'm hungry. I want ramen."  
"Then let's go find some."  
I took one last look down the path that Kouji took before I let my son pull me to my feet.  
I was so pissed at him.  
He just had to come here while I was doing fine, and he just had to try and tempt me so I'd screw up my life again, when I finally had it all in order, all because he couldn't get over that night, that one stupid night…  
… I couldn't get over it either. I almost went down Kouji's path. I almost chose a life with him instead of the life I'd worked so hard to preserve.  
"Daddy?" Takou asked again. He pulled my sleeve.  
"Sorry, kiddo." But my son was here, and my son wanted ramen. I took the direct opposite path, knowing that on it, I would not meet Kouji again.

I guess that's life.


End file.
